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Some years ago, I wrote a four-part Open Letter to Heart of God Church. Back then, I was fresh into my first semester of University, and eight years into what Christians would call ‘my walk with God’. I was reflecting about how becoming a Christian and going to church has deeply changed the course of my life.

Seven years later, I’ve graduated from University, started work, and reached my 15th year of knowing God and my HOGC family! And I’m thankful to say that while many things have changed, some things haven’t. 

I’m still following that same course (I hope)… and like what a certain webslinger describes, “Trying to do better”.

I hadn’t given much thought to that Open Letter I wrote in 2019 until a close friend reminded me of it recently. Reading those words again after so long brought back so much of what I felt back then – gratitude. 

In the blink of an eye, I’ve spent half my life as a Christian in Heart of God Church. Since it is such a ‘milestone’ year for me, I thought it’s high time to update my blog with yet another post – this time, not just as a letter to my church, but to myself.

To remind myself to carry that same gratitude I had when I was younger, into the next 15 years and beyond.

A Re-view (not review) of Church Life

If you have not read my Open Letter before, let me give you a TLDR. When I first visited Heart of God Church, I was not a Christian. I came with a cousin and was half-expecting Christians to hit me with the classic, “Do you want to know Jesus”, that I have encountered a few times before.

But on my first visit, no one asked about my interest in their God or in their church. Instead, they were most interested in… me! They asked questions about me, simply to know me better. I remember leaving with a smile on my face. Oh, and also a cake in my hands because they celebrated my birthday.

Friends to Family

Like I mentioned in my previous posts, I came to church initially because of the people. I made genuine friends in church, even though I did not share the same faith as them. They never pressured me or asked me those questions I had expected from them.

Months actually went by… then – the questions came. “Have you thought of becoming a Christian?” “Do you believe in Jesus?” “Why not? You should!” But it wasn’t anyone else who asked me those questions. I did. 

You see, every time I came to church, I felt joy, peace, love, and warmth I couldn’t find anywhere else. And mind you, I had a great time in school and at home. But what I felt here was different. 

Whether it was during worship, while listening to the sermon, or seeing people’s lives changed by God as they shared their life stories… I felt something real, a kind of fulfilment, and a sense of purpose that wasn’t fleeting. 

Even till this day, I find it hard to describe. There was only one possibility – ‘God’. Only Jesus could bring that real joy and meaning I felt. That is why I decided to begin my journey with Him and became a Christian. 

Life Updates… and Challenges

The rest of my journey up till eight years in – you can read it through my Open Letters. I will not repeat what I’ve written about back then, but instead, take a look back at life since then. Going through University and figuring out my way into the working world was certainly a journey… with highs and lows.

If I were to describe my first year as a working adult, it would be with words like “struggling” and “surviving”. I definitely wasn’t “thriving” or “winning”. Most of us who have worked our first job before might relate to my experience: being overwhelmed with the pace of work, doing a job that was different from what you expected, making mistakes…

The demands at work caused me to be stressed out and doubt myself. There were so many nights when I went into prayer, not with faith but with anxiety, asking God to show me how I can get through the next day. Many times, encouragement would come through Bible verses I read too.

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

1 Corinthians 15:58 (NLT)

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct… So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.

Galatians 6:4-5,9 (NLT)

But other times, encouragement would come through my spiritual family in church. I am so thankful I had friends who heard me out when I needed a listening ear, and cheered me on. This includes my leaders in church too, who encouraged me and gave me wise advice whenever I needed it.

I remember asking one of them out for breakfast on a weekend, as I simply needed advice on what I was feeling and thinking about at work (which was mostly negative). Over a meal, he heard me out and gave me his perspective as someone who has been in the working world for a few years. I had so much more clarity afterwards.

Another time, when I was really down, two of my leaders also handed me a book which they felt would help me. I felt so supported and cared for. Through them, I was also reminded to keep seeking God and renew my strength in Him.

Many times, it was their voices of truth that assured me. But even at times when they did not speak, I felt understood. What I appreciate is that through my “tough season”, I never was made to feel that there were expectations I had to meet.

Sometimes, with weekly services, church camps, and conferences, it can seem like life as a volunteer is very busy. But the truth is, I had the choice whether to turn up or serve. I was always told to share any unavailabilities, and for working adults and parents, extra consideration is always given to ensure there’s time for work, family, and rest.

Honestly, if I wanted to, I could have taken a break from serving. There wouldn’t be any judgement, but only care. But despite my struggles at work, I enjoyed serving in church and wanted to continue doing so.

To me, it was not an additional commitment, but an active way to get myself out of my negative thoughts and emotions. It was also a way I could remind myself to see the needs of others and not just myself. It was not to simply fill my time or be busy, but to show up and allow myself to be in an environment where my faith and character could be strengthened.

Like my Senior Pastors once shared, “Busyness does not equate to purpose.”  That’s how I felt whenever I could contribute – a sense of purpose.

So, what about my work woes? Eventually, I felt it was the right time to transition out of my previous job, and started looking for a new one. That’s how I managed to find the writing job that I am in now, which is in a totally different industry. But I enjoy it so much more! 

The cool part? Though I did not have much professional experience in writing, I could use what I have learnt while volunteering in the Editorial department in our church to secure an internship, and eventually my current full-time job. Career switch – success! Thanks to God. Thanks to church. And thanks to my leaders and friends who believed in me and taught me all that I knew.

Final thoughts

Some of you might wonder what made me stay in Heart of God Church for 15 years and more. If I could summarise it, it would be 2 main things:

1. Church is the House of God

Church is the place where I learn to journey with God through different seasons of my life. And as Christians, we believe church is the house of God. There is transformational power here. Looking back on my life, this is the place where God has changed me for the better and is continuing to do so.

Every week, when we worship, pray, and dive into His Bible together, I get so much insight into how I should navigate life. The value that I have received in the last 15 years vastly outweighs everything I have contributed.

What Jesus did on the cross, what my pastors did for the church, and what my friends did for me, I think it’s only natural and right that I give back. Because I was loved, I now can and want to love others!

2. Church is my Home and my Family

Throughout this article, you would have seen glimpses of my life in church through photos. Many of these pictures feature friends that I’ve known for years. Here, I’ve made friends for life! We have fun, we celebrate with one another, we cry with one another…

But we also inspire one another in our Christian faith, and serve God together. These are relationships that are so precious, and have made church more than a place to visit, but a Home and a Family.

Could I have used my weekends over the last 15 years to do other things? Sure. But to me, just as how I go home every day and want to spend time with my family as much as I can, it’s the same for church.

After all, it’s usually only one day a week! For relationships that matter, I wouldn’t think twice about using a fraction of my time and energy to build it.

As I’ve written at the start of this post, I want to never forget what I have received and stay grateful. That’s why I’ve written this post. But where words fail, I hope to continue having that same attitude through how I serve God and others – in and outside of church.

If you’ve read to this point, I want to thank you for joining me on a short recap of my journey so far. I hope it was worth your time reading, as much as it was for me writing it. Thank you, and hope to see you in church!

Leaving with you some of my favourite memories over the past few years.